It’s been a while since I wrote about the continuing problem of Domestic Violence, and I naively hoped the beginning of 2024 would mark a decline. Unfortunately, ten days into 2024, deaths have already been attributed to DV. Allan Ball, National Director of White Ribbon Australia, stated;

(So far) in 2023, a woman has been murdered every five days and yet men continue to remain silent on the issue

https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/its-been-a-bad-start-to-2023-for-womens-safety/

But can you blame them? After all, our leaders–the ones you and I voted in–are still turning to violence to resolve issues. I don’t need to spell out the trauma and senseless deaths of the citizens of Gaza or Ukraine. Those unimaginable acts will live on in affected communities for generations to come. When we have societies that condone violence –of any description—how can we then ask our citizens to do otherwise?

Does peace start in the home, travel into the community and then infiltrate into societies? Or does it happen from the top down? Anyone who has worked in an institution or corporation knows that office climates directly reflect the upper echelons of management.

So, does this mean we’re fighting a losing battle? No. But it does mean that our leaders must take accountability for the choices made. The war in Gaza is decades long. The violence has never ceased. However, rather than analysing why leaders of the countries (all males) continue to do what hasn’t worked for decades. If we don’t see necessary changes and violence censured on a public level, logically, there are going to be no improvements to violence in the home.

I began 2023 by congratulating Albanese for bringing DV into the mainstream and making the community accountable through his paid leave for DV sufferers, but unfortunately, little has changed. In late November, there were 67 deaths due to DV. No doubt that number will be higher after Christmas.

We as a community need to say no to all violence—not just the violence behind closed doors.

After years of therapy, I’ve learnt on a very personal level that denying an ‘inner life’ results in an overactive exterior life. I worked hard and played even harder. Gaining possessions to prove I was happy and successful, while I continued to ignore the pain and heartbreak internally. Once you have undergone this process, it’s easy to identify others using the same unsuccessful strategy. Displaying a happy public exterior while all the while suffering inside. This is, I believe, the need these controlling men have—control over their outside worlds. No matter the cost—dismissing their internal pain.

Leaders of countries are committing DV on an international scale. How can we allow people so out of touch with themselves to determine our futures? We need to make a stand. Refuse all violence. It never works. There are better ways to resolve conflict than killing the innocent and helpless. This year stand against violence. Say no! As Gandhi said, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’