So, it is officially Christmas Season, when many of us attend parties to celebrate not just Christmas but the close of another year. And socials are flooded with posts telling us how to reduce stress leading up to the big day and how to deal with those problematic extended relatives.

And each year I ask, where are the posts recommending ways to get through this season alone? A lot of us spend Christmas alone, or if you’re lucky, with a partner (as I do). For many of us, it’s due to an estrangement from family, making it even harder to bear. I have just read Rules of Estrangement by Joshua Coleman, PhD. Coleman is a psychologist who openly shares his own experiences of being estranged, along with the many parents/grandparents he has counselled who were estranged from their children/grandchildren. It’s an interesting revelation of how family dynamics have changed over the generations, thanks to our individualistic society. If this sounds familiar, I encourage you to read his book.

Whatever the reason you’re spending Christmas alone, try to focus on the positives.

Make it the selfish day being alone affords you. I’m fortunate to share the day with my partner, and we celebrate Christmas in July with one son and his family, but at the back of my mind is the fact that my adult children don’t want to spend the day with me. There are many complex reasons for this, but that nagging voice saying your family has rejected you is loudest at this time of year. The challenge is to deny it air in order to preserve your self-esteem and mental health. The first step is to acknowledge the message and then accept the negative effect it has on you. Identify the emotion it stirs and where it comes from, and then plan one hell of a day just for you.

It’s the day when calories and carbs are forgotten.

My partner and I cook up a full hot roast turkey meal for Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day, we enjoy the leftovers. Christmas Day starts with the dogs unwrapping their presents under the tree. Then we’ll play a couple of board games before grazing on our leftovers, to be finished with pudding and chocolates. Finally, we’ll binge-watch Christmas movies until we roll ourselves into bed. It’s a quiet day, where we don’t have to be anything but us. And it’s a day we appreciate, to the point I wonder if I want to share this day with anyone else.

Consider what you have wanted to do all year, just for you and haven’t had the opportunity to.

Perhaps it’s a soak in the bath or reading that book sitting on the shelf. Or maybe it’s to binge-watch a TV series or movies you missed this year. Whatever you choose to do, be grateful for the luxury of having choices and the resources to do it; there are many who don’t.

And consider planning that New Year’s resolution list. How can you prepare now to achieve those resolutions next year?

What decadent activities do you do on Christmas Day? Share them in a comment below.